Passion Found

How is everyone doing at the end of a busy work week?  All set for a relaxing weekend?  Ours began today and as predicted, it is a productive  Friday.  I think it would be busy tomorrow as well. 

In 2009, I started blogging about finding passion.  That was how I  really started this blog.  This became a tool of soul searching for me.  It wasn't really intended to be shown .  A mere string of messages and questions addressed to the void.  

I have been searching for years, what I'm meant to do.  I took architecture, because my fashion design teacher suggested that I'm meant for this, than drawing clothes, when she saw my perfect perspective drawing.  My Mom insisted it when she saw I was reading plans at the age of  8 and even though I hated Math  not to mention Calculus, I pursued Architecture and even got myself a license.  I knew back then during my college years that I'd never really enjoy a career in an architectural firm and couldn't really imagine myself standing on the scaffolding.  I found structural and utilities boring and I don't have the patience for numbers.  During summer while taking architecture, I took interior design classes in another school and enjoyed it!  I never missed a class.  Each class was so enjoyable and fun! I would have finished it if it weren't for the demands of responsibilities and lack of money.  I pursued a job intead in an interior design firm.

Going back to the subject, interior design will always be there but there's something more than that, that I was searching for.  Behind all these wants and practical career choices, I knew in my heart that I want to become an artist.  That was what I loved doing when I was a kid.  This didn't really occur to me until I started asking the question, "What is it I'm meant to do?."   I always feel a pang of longing whenever I see exhibitions and art studios.  There's this voice in my head, "I can do that." which I simply ignored.   I didn't really understand it. 

My mother encouraged me when I was younger and made me join National Art Competitions. I didn't really win them, except one art competition in my middle school.  I remember the time when I was about to choose what I'm going to study in college, my head was screaming "Fine Arts-Painting!", but the society would say otherwise because everyone says it's impractical.  So I put that off for ''someday'' until I completely forgot about it.

To make the long story short, I found myself enrolling for an oil painting class for adults just last year with the encouragement of a dear artist friend, Tyago Almario and my Mom. 

I found it, what I'm  looking for.  Everytime I paint, I am overwhelmed by ecstatic feelings of love and joy.  I am almost certain it is when I paint when I feel God the most.  There's a connection every stroke on the canvas, I can almost cry sometimes.  I found it and I am amazed by what I'm discovering.  I thank God for this chance.  I can do this forever and I can breathe and eat with the brushes.  I am at my happiest with the easel. It feels perfect.  It feels right.