Whenever I used to hear ''live in the present'', ''live like there's no tomorrow'', ''seize the day'', I didn't really understand it. Either the past entirely clouds my vision, or I'm looking right through binoculars far out into the future. I don't know about you, but when I go to the cinema to watch a film that I was excited for for weeks, as soon as I'm inside the movie theater, I'm more thrilled to see the trailer of upcoming films, more than the film itself.
Guilty, I never really appreciated the present. I just didn't know how. I was devoid of feeling the happiness and excitement in the present moment , after reaching a destination I have always wanted to visit. Or whenever I achieve something that I extremely worked hard for. I was always busy looking ahead, for the next big thing. I failed to enjoy the small moments. I was incapable of it.
This year, I wanted to change it. As I was driving along my usual morning route. I asked myself these questions:
- Am I happy right now?
- If today is all I have and I am to die tomorrow, am I happy? Am I ready?
The past successes, my family, my loved ones, all the victories over challenges that I have been through, flashed before me. Looking back at my life, where I am now despite unfulfilled desires, frustrations and challenges, I sincerely answered, "Yes, I am." I was in fact ready to accept that if this was all my life was about, if this is it, I am ready, whatever happens. I am indeed happy for the decisions I made. No regrets.
With that, I started to become aware of the things I didn't notice before. How blue the sky was. How beautiful the wind was on my skin. How thankful I am for my job. How nice the coffee was. How thankful I am for feeling good that morning. How grateful I am for my colleagues, my boss, my friends, the house where I live in, for being able to drive to work. Everything changed. Now I understand what it means to be in the present. To put a stop to everything and breathe in the small moments and be grateful for them. This is my initial breakthrough for 2012. To live each day as if there's no tomorrow.
Image via the wellness warrior